Library of Laughs

Love to laugh? So do we! July 1 is International Joke Day and August 16 is National Tell a Joke Day, but anytime really is a good time for a laugh, so...

Here are a few of our favorite jokes:

What do you call it when Alpacas sing? Alpacapella.

What do you call a fish with no legs? A fish.

Did you hear about the drum set that rolled down the hill? Buh-dum-tiss.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

How does a train eat? It goes "chew chew"!

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!

What's the best part about being Swiss? I dunno, but their flag's a big plus.

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No, it doesn't."

What's green and has wheels? Grass!!!! (I lied about the wheels.)

What do a peanut and a bicycle have in common? Neither one can play the piano.

What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated! (Decaffeinated!)

Why do penguins wash their clothes in-tide? Because it's too cold out-tide!

Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why can't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bay-gulls!

What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1

Two peanuts were walking through the park; one was a salted.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doctor who?
That's right Doctor Who (Tardis sound effects)

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fixture who?
If you would fixture doorbell, I wouldn't have to knock!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!!!

What's black and white and red all over? A sunburnt panda.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.

What do you call an old snow man? Water.

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

Where do animals go when their tails fall off? A re-tail store.

Can't get enough? Check out a joke book.

For more silly fun, share your favorite jokes with us in the comments!