Library of Laughs

August 16 is Tell a Joke Day. Here are a few of our favorites!

What do you call it when Alpacas sing? Alpacapella.


What do you call a fish with no legs? A fish.


Did you hear about the drum set that rolled down the hill? Buh-dum-tiss.


What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.


How does a train eat? It goes "chew chew"!


Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!


What's the best part about being Swiss? I dunno, but the flag's a big plus.


What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.


My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No, it doesn't."


What's green and has wheels? Grass!!!! (I lied about the wheels.)


What do a peanut and a bicycle have in common? Neither one can play the piano.


What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated! (Decaffeinated!)


Why do penguins wash their clothes in-tide? Because it's too cold out-tide!


Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.


Why can't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bay-gulls!


What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1


Two peanuts were walking through the park; one was a salted.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doctor!
Doctor who?
That's right Doctor Who (Tardis sound effects)


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fixture
Fixture who?
If you would fixture doorbell, I wouldn't have to knock!


What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!!!


What's black and white and red all over? A sunburnt panda.


What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.


What do you call an old snow man? Water.


How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!


Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.


Where do animals go when their tails fall off? A re-tail store.

Tell us your favorite joke in the comments!

We welcome your respectful and on-topic comments and questions in this limited public forum. To find out more, please see Appropriate Use When Posting Content. Community-contributed content represents the views of the user, not those of Arapahoe Libraries